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So what girl (or guy for that matter) hasn’t at some point in their lives gone a little crazy spending money? I know I have.

As a blogger who often writes about style, I think about issues revolving around shopping a lot. I mean, I love reading about fashion, I love browsing sites and brick and mortar stores just to see what’s there — even better if I return home with something amazing wrapped in tissue paper. Shopping is fun, am I right?

“I like my money right where I can see it…hanging in my closet.”

– Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Err…I wouldn’t say I am exactly like Carrie Bradshaw, but I’m no saint. There are lots of reasons I’ve spent money. I’ve been pressured by friends, told myself that I deserved to buy something, or believed that a particular thing would change me for the better, I was distracted by something shiny…you get the point. Truth be told, the panic and guilt caused by overspending stands out in my mind more than any enjoyment I gained from what I bought.

Especially since I left my 20′s behind, shopping on a whim has gotten a lot less exciting. As I’ve gotten older and further into my career, the constant little splurges became less fun. Not because I like shopping any less — on the contrary, I wouldn’t be blogging about style and fashion if that were true, but I have definitely had some buyers remorse in my time.

Getting rid of the self-defeating stuff, aka my bad habits exposed (the agony)
  • I don’t run out to buy a random outfit every Friday night anymore. There was a time when this happened several times a month. Do I still have any of those clothes? I think you know the answer.
  • I unsubscribed from emails to those invite-only, exclusive, 24-hour-sale sites. I got caught up in that a few years ago, seduced by the urgency of it all. In the end, deciding what to buy, and watching everything sell out as I refresh the browser was too much. It’s a genius marketing idea, but I wasted too much money on supposed designer deals that ended up not working out, and I hated perpetually having credit I “needed to use”.
  • I delete emails from clothing retailers without reading sometimes so I don’t derail myself. It’s not deprivation as much as it’s sticking to the script. If I don’t need a new coat at the moment, I will probably delete an email about a sale on coats.
  • I don’t blow my paycheck on payday. This one is hard, it’s definitely something I still struggle with, but I’ve automated my savings so the number in my checking account is what I actually have until the next payday because I have already paid myself.
  • I actually keep a check book ledger. I write everything down that I buy with my checking account. That may seem silly since I also check everything online, but it keeps me honest.
  • In addition to the check ledger I also use mint.com, and I have a shopping budget set for the month, and the site automatically categorizes stores and attributes them to my budgets. It makes it really easy to track. It’s way, way easier than any of the personal financial software I’ve tried, because it links to your accounts automatically.
  • I don’t use my credit cards for things like shopping for clothes.
  • I don’t freak out every time someone has a sale, because stores are always having sales.
  • I don’t hide purchases from my husband. He trusts me anyway, because he knows I am the one who worries about the bills getting paid, and savings accounts and whatnot.

I know I have friends who think I am boring because of this. I think of this new behavior as a self-defense mechanism I’ve developed to protect myself from that panicked feeling of looking at my bank account knowing I need gas in my car, and knowing I just spent my gas money at the mall. There’s nothing worse than having a new dress and being so broke you can’t go out and show it off.

Now, I evaluate my needs at the beginning of each season. It’s not as fun as online shopping at 2 a.m….but I am a Virgo, so that’s not really my style anyway. Having my little wish list and hunting down the perfect piece is its own kind of fun though. Call me a style strategist.

Style Strategy, or why I’m really not a miser, I promise  (the ecstasy)
  • I look at everything I own for the upcoming season (most recently Fall/Winter) and decide what is worn out, and what I am tired of. In this case, I knew I needed more cardigans and sweaters to replace things I have worn out. I also need to replace my black puffer style coat. I also know that I will probably buy a pair of boots this season, around 2 pairs of heels, and one pair of flats.
  • Know thy style. Which in my case means, I buy things that I know I will enjoy for more than one season, and I buy from brands that fit my body well. I don’t try to force trends that are not for my curves to work for me — it never ends well.
  • Speaking of trends, when I do try them out, I usually go for something lower end like H&M, in case I get tired of it after 3 months. And I don’t buy 50 items related to that trend, because really, how long did the bubble skirt last?
  • I check sites like Retail Me Not before I click “complete purchase” because you never know when you might find an awesome coupon code you knew nothing about. Especially if you’ve been deleting emails as I mention above.
  • I know, because I have evaluated my closet’s needs, that I don’t need another black dress any time soon. However, I might buy a dress in a great color if I come across something amazing.
  • There are tons of things I am willing to buy online, in fact my co-workers are amazed I buy so many things successfully (I get things shipped to the office). Hell, I bought my wedding dress online from Whirling Turban. But personally, I won’t buy vintage online. It puts me at a disadvantage because the Midwest doesn’t always have the best selection, and there are truly amazing, gorgeous things being sold online. But, not being a size 0, and being really persnickety about condition, I just won’t do it. I can’t trust people’s measurements, or their photos to be color-accurate, and since vintage fabrics don’t have the miracle of lycra, the cut has to be spot on. It stinks but I’d no question, waste hundreds of dollars.
  • I will selectively shop sales if I know that I already love a certain brand and they are likely to have something I am looking for. I don’t just shop because something is on sale, because that’s not saving money.
  • I save money to shop in cities that have boutiques I love when I am there for work. Trashy Diva in New Orleans is a perfect example of this.

As you can see, I am not so strict that I don’t allow room for the random amazing find, but I’m not wandering the mall on my lunch hour, or mindlessly browsing online looking for a deal as an excuse to spend. I’ve always got my core needs at the forefront of my mind, and I know what I am comfortable spending on them. Plus I try to live by the “quality not quantity” rule. Thrifting can help keep the cost down with this rule, and can be fun as long as you know you will wear what you find and aren’t just spending because you found some designer piece for $2.00. If it’s hideous, it’s not worth your hard earned cash, I don’t care if it is Prada from 1990.

The shopaholic lifestyle seems to be a rite of passage for a lot of young women. Yeah, it’s a first world problem, and no it’s not the most important problem we face.  But it’s pretty scary that no one learns how credit cards work in school and advertising shows us young people who have it all and thus we thing we deserve it all too. As a style blogger, I’m always interested in what’s new, what’s happening in fashion, and what people are buying. But I remind myself that I do this for fun, I am not Nina Garcia, and it’s not my job to keep up with the fashion “Joneses” even if I could.

You might totally disagree with me, and consider the random Tuesday shopping spree to be the way of life. If you can afford that, by all means. This is what has worked for me as I am continuing to evolve out of the throw away style of my younger self into someone who cares about owning beautiful things that will survive more than a season. I’d love to hear your comments though, if you’ve read this far, and if you have a tip that’s worked for you, I’m interested!

Here are some links to resources on finances, fashion, and spending.
  • Forbes article that quotes The Frenemy about the Carrie Bradshaw character and shopping.
  • This post from Ashe on Dramatis Personae really spoke to me.
  • Also, this post over on Vinyl Ahoy, about spending habits, communication with significant others about money, and debt.
  • The Budget Fashionista talks about consolidating debt and how to shop on a budget (really good post)!
  • The Cheap JAP posts about upcoming sales in the NYC area, and this girl is the master of finding designer items for next to nothing. Learn from the best!
  • And Then She Saved actually went on a “spending fast” for a year to pay down her debt. She has some amazing tips for those wanting to fast, or maybe just go on a “spending diet”.
  • Get Rich Slowly has great articles and tips, and doesn’t make you feel like crap for wanting a new pair of shoes.